And the Snobbie goes to...

Who watched the Oscar's last night? Not me.  I'm not a movie buff! Sue me! (Please don't! All I have is this blog and fashion dream!)  So this is my personal award show to all of the fashion that came down the red carpet last night!

Welcome to the Snobbies!



The "My Stylist Hates Me" award goes to Missy Pyle.  Apparently this dress was made from cruelty free silk worms.  What about the cruelty that my eyes are experiencing just looking at this picture??!!  She paid no attention to any of the current color trends, her boobs hare experiencing a heavy gravitational pull, that broach could have been placed two inches to the left... Oh, and the dress is just plain UGLY!



The "Caramel Frappuccino" award goes to Kristen Wiig.  She got bashed for this nude J. Mendel number, but I love it! The dress is a carmelized frothy delight, looks great on her not-too-tanned skin, and the high and low lights in her effortless hair bring the whole look together.  I'm even digging the dark fingernails.



The "Rose Gold" award goes to Stacy Keibler, a.k.a. Geroge Clooney's boo.  I love this gold lame` dress by Marchesa!  Its a modern spin on old Hollywood glamour.  More effort could have been put into the hair.





The "Never Looked Better" award goes to Tina fey in Carolina Herrera.  She's playing up the peplum trend, which I love; and she's got the uber bun, which I double love!  I was starting to give up on Tina, I have to admit.  I was thinking maybe she can't be pretty.  Maybe she really looks like her 30 Rock character, Liz Lemon, ALL THE TIME! I was wrong! She looks great! 



The "White Precious" award goes to Melissa McCarthy.  Wait! Hear me out!  I'm only saying Precious because we know what Gabby Sidibe used to look like on the red carpet when she first emerged on the acting screen: A HOT MESS,  which is how Melissa McCarthy looks in this home-sewn belted muumuu.  I love Melissa McCarthy and have seen her represent to the fullest for plus sized ladies, but this... this is just... No.



Penelope Cruz gets the "Safety" award, for wearing the absolute safest dress she could find.  She's obviously hiding extra baggage in the hip area.  What's going on under there, chica? The hair and jewels are fab, though!





The "Princess Leia" award goes to Sailene Woodley.  I mean... Come on.  You know what this dress looked like when you put it on.  Then you let them put that bun in your hair too?  All she needed was a light saber clutch to finish off the look.





The "Shot of Yac" award goes to Ellie Kemper.  I understand that you wanted to match your dress with your hair color... Actually, I don't understand that at all.  You have red hair and pale skin! Everybody knows you were supposed to go green, red, or nude.  That blunt, no shine bang is too long, and looks uneven under certain lighting.  I wish the photographer would have put her image in a brandy glass witha rose under it like people used to do in the 80's.  That would have completed the look she was going for.



And the Snobbie Goes To.....



Chile, Miss Minny is slanging shit pie at all you hoes at the Oscars!  Octavia Spencer was the best dressed of the night for me.  This dress is beautiful!  The Tadashi Shoji gown is beaded to perfection to accentuate Octavia's womanly curves.  No too much going on for the ring and earrings, letting the dress absorb all the glory it deserves! Just enough on the clutch, and the bouffant side bun is perfection! GO GIRL! And Congratulations on your Best Supporting Actress Oscar!