And the Snobbie goes to...

Who watched the Oscar's last night? Not me.  I'm not a movie buff! Sue me! (Please don't! All I have is this blog and fashion dream!)  So this is my personal award show to all of the fashion that came down the red carpet last night!

Welcome to the Snobbies!



The "My Stylist Hates Me" award goes to Missy Pyle.  Apparently this dress was made from cruelty free silk worms.  What about the cruelty that my eyes are experiencing just looking at this picture??!!  She paid no attention to any of the current color trends, her boobs hare experiencing a heavy gravitational pull, that broach could have been placed two inches to the left... Oh, and the dress is just plain UGLY!



The "Caramel Frappuccino" award goes to Kristen Wiig.  She got bashed for this nude J. Mendel number, but I love it! The dress is a carmelized frothy delight, looks great on her not-too-tanned skin, and the high and low lights in her effortless hair bring the whole look together.  I'm even digging the dark fingernails.



The "Rose Gold" award goes to Stacy Keibler, a.k.a. Geroge Clooney's boo.  I love this gold lame` dress by Marchesa!  Its a modern spin on old Hollywood glamour.  More effort could have been put into the hair.





The "Never Looked Better" award goes to Tina fey in Carolina Herrera.  She's playing up the peplum trend, which I love; and she's got the uber bun, which I double love!  I was starting to give up on Tina, I have to admit.  I was thinking maybe she can't be pretty.  Maybe she really looks like her 30 Rock character, Liz Lemon, ALL THE TIME! I was wrong! She looks great! 



The "White Precious" award goes to Melissa McCarthy.  Wait! Hear me out!  I'm only saying Precious because we know what Gabby Sidibe used to look like on the red carpet when she first emerged on the acting screen: A HOT MESS,  which is how Melissa McCarthy looks in this home-sewn belted muumuu.  I love Melissa McCarthy and have seen her represent to the fullest for plus sized ladies, but this... this is just... No.



Penelope Cruz gets the "Safety" award, for wearing the absolute safest dress she could find.  She's obviously hiding extra baggage in the hip area.  What's going on under there, chica? The hair and jewels are fab, though!





The "Princess Leia" award goes to Sailene Woodley.  I mean... Come on.  You know what this dress looked like when you put it on.  Then you let them put that bun in your hair too?  All she needed was a light saber clutch to finish off the look.





The "Shot of Yac" award goes to Ellie Kemper.  I understand that you wanted to match your dress with your hair color... Actually, I don't understand that at all.  You have red hair and pale skin! Everybody knows you were supposed to go green, red, or nude.  That blunt, no shine bang is too long, and looks uneven under certain lighting.  I wish the photographer would have put her image in a brandy glass witha rose under it like people used to do in the 80's.  That would have completed the look she was going for.



And the Snobbie Goes To.....



Chile, Miss Minny is slanging shit pie at all you hoes at the Oscars!  Octavia Spencer was the best dressed of the night for me.  This dress is beautiful!  The Tadashi Shoji gown is beaded to perfection to accentuate Octavia's womanly curves.  No too much going on for the ring and earrings, letting the dress absorb all the glory it deserves! Just enough on the clutch, and the bouffant side bun is perfection! GO GIRL! And Congratulations on your Best Supporting Actress Oscar!



What's Wif the Midriff?

The greatest alternative to looking like a slutacious whore has arrived!... Was that a little harsh?  WHO CARES!!! Its the God-honest, fashionable truth! A wonderful trend has emerged where being covered is chic, and bearing only slight slithers of skin is sexy.*wipes mouth*  "Trend Snob, what is the sexiest body part to show off this Spring?", you may ask.  Well, I'll tell ya!  It's the midriff:  the area below your bosom, and above your navel.


 

Scandalous!

This trend was all over the runway for Spring/Summer 2012.  Here are some of my favorites: 



Alice+Olivia



Nanette Lepore

Bill Blass

Prada

 Catch my 'DRIFF?

Rocking this trend is fairly easy.  Simply break out your high waisted pants, shorts, or skirts, and cop a crop top from one of the many stores that are selling them (They're literally everywhere).  If you can sew, feel free to hack off the lower half of a shirt that you're not wearing any more, hem it, then hike up a spandex mini to your natural waistline.  This look is shown below:

Me again??!! Sorry!!! =D
I'm not

The great thing about this trend is that its subtly sexy.  You can show a little bit of unexpected skin in a very approprate way.  It's classy enough where you don't feel like you're bearing too much skin if you're wearing this look in the middle of the day! 

It's also made it's way into swimwear! Thank God!  Bare midriff is the soloution to over worn monokinis, unfathomable bikinis, and undesireable tankinis.  The look plays nicely with tummies that have stretch marks, and often comes with loads of lycra, offering a slenderizing effect.

Jet Classique

This look can be worn in hundreds of combinations, and this Spring, I will be wearing each and every one!

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Pants!

Pants are everywhere for Spring/Summer 2012.  No matter the cut: skinny, cropped, or wide-legged, the hottest way to wear pants this season in bright colors; which is great for the color blocking trend!  I'm taking you to my favorite place -- THE STREETS -- to show you how some people are rocking them:

Monchromatic Hues with Straight Legged Shocking Pink Pants to Add Wow Factor

Red Skinny Pants Unzipped at the Ankle to Jazz Up an All Black Ensemble

Cuffed Orange Relaxed Slacks Broken Up With Black and White Blazer

Turquoise Flared Slacks, Rocking the Color Blocking Trend with a 70's Vibe

OMG! Is that me??? Yes, it is.... and you LOVE IT!!!

Its a Men Trend too!

Are you loving this trend?  New York and Co. has just the sale to help you kick off this trend in your closet:  THE SEMI-ANNUAL PANT EVENT!  Buy one pair of pants and get the second pair FREE!!! Which totals out to paying about $25 per pair of pants! I love NY & Co pants because they come in a wonderful array of sizes and inseams for thick chicks, talls, and smalls!  Click the link below to go straight to the SALE!

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/?cid=sem_psg24

I'm totally digging this pair that comes in Green, Red, Purple, and Taupe

7th Avenue Slim Sateen Crop by NY & Co.

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R.I.P. Whitney Houston

Whitney, Whitney, Whitney.  You will be forever immortalized in the hearts of millions.  You can pay a fashionable homage to the fallen star with with some of these looks I put together.

Whitney Houston album cover (1985)



Current Edition One Shoulder Dress
http://www.vendio.com/stores/currentedition/item/women-s-clothing-dresses/cream-blush-pink-one-shoulder-/lid=8470943

Whitney album cover (1987)

Indah Scuzi Racerback Tank Dress
www.revolveclothing.com

Whitney at at an award show in Los Angeles (c.a. 1988)



ASOS One Shoulder Dress with Corsage

www.asos.com



Had to throw this in!!! LOL, but is that not almost the SAME dress?



I Wanna Dance With Somebody video (1987)

Striped Crop Top

www.kaboodle.com

R.I.P. WHITNEY HOUSTON



P.S. I've bee rocking the Whitney 'do for a few weeks now!

@The_Lauren_Show



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Is the Cat in the Hat the New Black?

PPQ      We’ve seen them on celebrities, we’ve seen them on Furry Fandoms; and now we’re seeing them on the runway??? 

The animal hat trend has somehow managed to penetrate almost every fashion market.  I first saw the trend several years ago in one of my favorite books “FRUiTS”, a photographic collection of Japanese street fashion.  The hats were worn by fashion crazed teenagers of the Harajuku district.  Slowly but surely, the animalistic hoods have migrated overseas onto the crowns of American teenage hipsters.  Now these hats are worn by the likes of Vanessa Hudgens, Amber Rose, Khloe Kardashian, and many more.  Nicki Minaj even wore one to the Oscar De La Renta  Spring 2012 runway show!

Many of these celebs wouldn’t be caught in anything other than designer duds, so of course designers had to follow suit.  Anna Sui featured the fuzzy faux fur trend in her latest collection, while Givenchy, Maison Michel, and PPQ  presented more toned down, cat-like hats. 

This look can be worn in leopard and other feline prints, but can also resemble other animals such as skunks, wolves, bears, and just about any other animal you can think of.  The website www.spirithoods.com has the broadest collection of trendy animal hoods I’ve seen thus far, with Snow Leopard being the top seller.  Believe it or not, their hoods are actually kind of cute, cover the ears and neck, and have built in little paw mittens!

Tiger by Spirit Hoods

Now that celebrities have found a trend that won’t cause PETA to throw red paint on them, the question remains:  Would you wear this trend?  How far would you go to keep your head, neck, and hands simultaneously warm? Is the Cat in the Hat the new Black?  Is it a Fashion DO, or a Fashion DON’T?  Take the LOVE or LOATHE poll below!